         HOW TO PICK UP A GIRL
                  BY
              Neato Dude



(This is originally from Hardcore   
Computist magazine, but I went to all
the trouble of typing it in.)

Requirements:
A girl you really want to pick up
Some rippling biceps
 (available at your local gym)
Certified Jock Sweat or substitute
 (also available at local gym)

 Unlike all the other advice books and
pamphlets sold at exorbitant prices, 
this method is inexpensive and  
absolutely works even if your CHARISMA
is very low.  If you've had any 
problems in the past using other 
methods, it's because you didn't use
this procedure.
 Follow these few simple steps and 
you'll soon be able to pick up girls
everywhere.

1. Get an old T-shirt, and make a
jagged cut through the chest area.
2. Sloppily spill some Certified Jock
Sweat(or your own, if you qualify) onto
the T-shirt
3. Wait a minute for the musky odor to
permeate the T-shirt.  If you like, you
can spill some of the Certified Jock
Sweat on your own body and feel your
VIRILITY go up.  Your AGILITY and
DEXTERITY will not change.
4. Put on the T-shirt
5. Now walk up to the girl and take a
deep breath, puffing our your chest (or
a reasonable facsimile) as you do so.
7. Grasp girl firmly around her waist
and lift.
