= J =
=====

   :J. Random: /J rand'm/ n.  [common; generalized from    {J. Random
Hacker}] Arbitrary; ordinary; any one; any old.     `J. Random' is
often prefixed to a noun to make a name out of it.     It means roughly
`some particular' or `any specific one'.     "Would you let J. Random
Loser marry your daughter?"  The most    common uses are `J. Random
Hacker', `J. Random Loser', and    `J. Random Nerd' ("Should J. Random
Loser be allowed to {gun}    down other people?"), but it can be used
simply as an elaborate    version of {random} in any sense.

   :J. Random Hacker: /J rand'm hak'r/ n.  [very common] A    mythical
figure like the Unknown Soldier; the archetypal hacker    nerd.  This
term is one of the oldest in the jargon, apparently    going back to
MIT in the 1960s.  See {random}, {Suzie    COBOL}.  This may originally
have been inspired by `J. Fred    Muggs', a show-biz chimpanzee whose
name was a household word back    in the early days of {TMRC}, and was
probably influenced by    `J. Presper Eckert' (one of the co-inventors
of the electronic    computer).  See also {Fred Foobar}.

   :jack in: v.  To log on to a machine or connect to a network    or
{BBS}, esp. for purposes of entering a {virtual reality}    simulation
such as a {MUD} or {IRC} (leaving is "jacking    out").  This term
derives from {cyberpunk} SF, in which it was    used for the act of
plugging an electrode set into neural sockets    in order to interface
the brain directly to a virtual reality.  It    is primarily used by
MUD and IRC fans and younger hackers on BBS    systems.

   :jaggies: /jag'eez/ n.  The `stairstep' effect observable    when an
edge (esp. a linear edge of very shallow or steep slope)    is rendered
on a pixel device (as opposed to a vector display).

   :JCL: /J-C-L/ n.  1. IBM's supremely {rude} Job Control    Language.
JCL is the script language used to control the execution    of
programs in IBM's batch systems.  JCL has a very {fascist}    syntax,
and some versions will, for example, {barf} if two    spaces appear
where it expects one.  Most programmers confronted    with JCL simply
copy a working file (or card deck), changing the    file names.
Someone who actually understands and generates unique    JCL is
regarded with the mixed respect one gives to someone who    memorizes
the phone book.  It is reported that hackers at IBM    itself sometimes
sing "Who's the breeder of the crud that mangles    you and me?  I-B-M,
J-C-L, M-o-u-s-e" to the tune of the    "Mickey Mouse Club" theme to
express their opinion of the    beast.  2. A comparative for any very
{rude} software that a    hacker is expected to use.  "That's as bad as
JCL."  As with    {COBOL}, JCL is often used as an archetype of
ugliness even by    those who haven't experienced it.  See also {IBM},
{fear and    loathing}.

   A (poorly documented, naturally) shell simulating JCL syntax is
available at the Retrocomputing Museum `http://www.ccil.org/retro'.

   :JEDR: // n.  Synonymous with {IYFEG}.  At one time,    people in
the Usenet newsgroup rec.humor.funny tended to use    `JEDR' instead of
{IYFEG} or `<ethnic>'; this stemmed from a    public attempt to
suppress the group once made by a loser with    initials JEDR after he
was offended by an ethnic joke posted there.     (The practice was
{retcon}ned by the expanding these initials as    `Joke
Ethnic/Denomination/Race'.)  After much sound and fury JEDR    faded
away; this term appears to be doing likewise.  JEDR's only    permanent
effect on the net.culture was to discredit    `sensitivity' arguments
for censorship so thoroughly that more    recent attempts to raise them
have met with immediate and    near-universal rejection.

   :jello: n.  [Usenet: by analogy with {spam}] A message    that is
both excessively cross-posted and too frequently posted, as    opposed
to {spam} (which is merely too frequently posted) or    {velveeta}
(which is merely excessively cross-posted).  This term is    widely
recognized but not commonly used; most people refer to both    kinds of
abuse or their combination as spam.

   :jiffy: n.  1. The duration of one tick of the system clock on
your computer (see {tick}).  Often one AC cycle time (1/60 second    in
the U.S. and Canada, 1/50 most other places), but more recently
1/100 sec has become common.  "The swapper runs every 6 jiffies"
means that the virtual memory management routine is executed once
for every 6 ticks of the clock, or about ten times a second.     2.
Confusingly, the term is sometimes also used for a 1-millisecond
{wall time} interval.  3. Even more confusingly, physicists
semi-jokingly use `jiffy' to mean the time required for light to
travel one foot in a vacuum, which turns out to be close to one
_nanosecond_.  4. Indeterminate time from a few seconds to    forever.
"I'll do it in a jiffy" means certainly not now and    possibly never.
This is a bit contrary to the more widespread use    of the word.
Oppose {nano}. See also {Real Soon Now}.

   :job security: n.  When some piece of code is written in a
particularly {obscure} fashion, and no good reason (such as time    or
space optimization) can be discovered, it is often said that the
programmer was attempting to increase his job security (i.e., by
making himself indispensable for maintenance).  This sour joke
seldom has to be said in full; if two hackers are looking over some
code together and one points at a section and says "job    security",
the other one may just nod.

   :jock: n.  1. A programmer who is characterized by large and
somewhat brute-force programs.  See {brute force}.  2. When    modified
by another noun, describes a specialist in some particular    computing
area.  The compounds `compiler jock' and `systems    jock' seem to be
the best-established examples.

   :joe code: /joh' kohd`/ n.  1. Code that is overly    {tense} and
unmaintainable.  "{Perl} may be a handy program,    but if you look at
the source, it's complete joe code."  2. Badly    written, possibly
buggy code.

   Correspondents wishing to remain anonymous have fingered a
particular Joe at the Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory and observed    that
usage has drifted slightly; the original sobriquet `Joe code'    was
intended in sense 1.

   1994 update: This term has now generalized to `<name> code', used
to designate code with distinct characteristics traceable to its
author. "This section doesn't check for a NULL return from malloc()!
Oh.  No wonder! It's Ed code!". Used most often with a programmer
who has left the shop and thus is a convenient scapegoat for
anything that is wrong with the project.

   :jolix: /joh'liks/ n.,adj.  386BSD, the freeware port of    the BSD
Net/2 release to the Intel i386 architecture by Bill Jolitz    and
friends.  Used to differentiate from BSDI's port based on the    same
source tape, which used to be called BSD/386 and is now    BSD/OS.  See
{BSD}.

   :JR[LN]: /J-R-L/, /J-R-N/ n.  The names JRL and JRN were
sometimes used as example names when discussing a kind of user ID
used under {{TOPS-10}} and {WAITS}; they were understood to be    the
initials of (fictitious) programmers named `J. Random Loser'    and `J.
Random Nerd' (see {J. Random}).  For example, if one    said "To log
in, type log one comma jay are en" (that is, "log    1,JRN"), the
listener would have understood that he should use his    own computer
ID in place of `JRN'.

   :juggling eggs: vi.  Keeping a lot of {state} in your head    while
modifying a program.  "Don't bother me now, I'm juggling    eggs",
means that an interrupt is likely to result in the    program's being
scrambled.  In the classic first-contact SF novel    "The Mote in God's
Eye", by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle,    an alien describes a very
difficult task by saying "We juggle    priceless eggs in variable
gravity."  See also {hack mode}.

   :jump off into never-never land: v.  [from J. M. Barrie's    "Peter
Pan"] Same as {branch to Fishkill}, but more common    in technical
cultures associated with non-IBM computers that use    the term `jump'
rather than `branch'.  Compare    {hyperspace}.

   :jupiter: vt.  [IRC] To kill an {IRC} {bot} or user    and then take
its place by adopting its {nick} so that it cannot    reconnect.  Named
after a particular IRC user who did this to    NickServ, the robot in
charge of preventing people from    inadvertently using a nick claimed
by another user.  Now commonly    shortened to `jupe'.

